Strength vs Weakness
by Kizmet
Summary: Five years after Angel's apparent death, Buffy learns some things about Angel and about Riley and Spike.
1. Depend on Me

The scream that woke Riley from an uneasy sleep wasn't a surprise, nor was the sight of his normally confident wife curled into a tight ball, whimpering and trembling in her sleep.It had been the normal state of affairs for over five years now.

Riley gently shook the tiny blond woman into wakefulness.Hazel eyes filled with guilt and grief met his briefly then Buffy threw herself into his arms.Riley rocked back and forth, carefully smoothing her sleep tangled hair and murmuring soothing nonsense as she clung to him desperately.

Another man might have resented this, that even after all these years his wife still grieved for the loss of another man, but Riley knew that this was what made his relationship with Buffy possible.

Six years ago he'd left her because she didn't need him, now she did.Riley remembered seeing Buffy for the first time after their break-up, it had been ten months since the night he'd left Sunnydale.It had been a coincidence, one that had been bound to occur someday.The Initiative and the Slayer had both been called to LA for the same disaster in the making.

After it was all over Riley learned that Buffy's vampire lover had called her for help a week earlier, but she'd been busy with her own problems and had told him to take care of things on his own.By the time Buffy had arrived in LA, Angel was missing, presumed dead.

The three groups: Buffy and the Slayerettes, Angel's friends and the Initiative soldiers, had formed an uncomfortable alliance.Together they stormed the offices of Wolfram and Hart in a last ditch attempt to prevent the Old Ones from escaping.The Old Ones, or as the employees of Wolfram and Hart called them, the senior partners, two ancient beings of evil who had set up the law firm as a means by which they could manipulate events in the world so as to free themselves from their long confinement.

Riley had to admit it was clever; most demons lured humans into their service through cults.Those were the type of organizations that the Initiative monitored just in case one of the nutcases actually managed to raise a real demon; they never thought to suspect a prestigious, if unethical, law firm.By the time anyone but Angel's little group realized what was occurring the building was already nine tenths in Hell.Not quite a doorway between dimensions, more of a pressure lock.

Between the Initiative techs and Buffy's witch friends they'd put together several magically enhanced bombs that would destroy the building and seal any rifts in the barrier between Hell and the world.The only trick was that the bombs had to be planted inside the building.

Three bombs, three teams, with the rest acting as a diversion.Buffy and Graham were to place their bomb on the roof.Gunn, Wesley, Xander and Agent Walker had the ground level placement. Riley and Spike were given responsibility for planting the sublevel bomb.The witches and spell casters had stayed behind with the Initiative's surveillance specialists, ready to lend their magic wherever it was most needed, while the Initiative combat team staged a frontal attack on the building to divert attention from the true mission.

Riley remembered the cold fear of failure in the pit of his stomach as he and the bleached blond vampire snuck through the sewers below Wolfram and Hart with the disassembled bomb split between the packs on their backs.The components of the bomb were too dangerous to carry together.

Riley remembered encountering the deranged vampiress Drucilla…

"You've been a very naughty boy, Spike," The beautiful girl who had seemed to appear from the shadows had said in a singsong voice.

"What do you mean Princess?" Spike had asked.

"You're like my Angel now, your heart's all full of her," the vampiress scolded.

"I needed someone to fill the hole you left Pet," Spike replied."You left me with no one else to turn to.You sent me to the Slayer Dru, this is no one's fault but yours."  
  


"Oh my poor knight," the girl exclaimed."I've wounded you grievously."

Riley stared at the pair in horror.If Spike defected now the plan would fail and the world would be subjugated by the Old Ones."Why had they trusted that creature," Riley had wondered.

"Forgive me?" Dru had requested and Spike had opened his arms welcomingly to the mad girl.

Riley raised his pistol, specially designed to fire bullets of hardwood, but couldn't fire.If Spike's pack went to dust with the vampire the plan would fail as surely as if he defected.Plagued by indecision Riley watched as the lovers embraced, then in open-mouthed shock as the dark haired vampiress crumbled into dust.

"After a century with Dru I know how to project emotions so as to manipulate those insights of hers.O'course I could never fool her for more than a few seconds," Spike commented staring at the ashes of his former lover.

"I thought…" Riley began, lowering his gun.

"I've never been in favor of ending the world," Spike explained."And Dru abused my love for her one too many times."

The rest of the mission had gone smoothly for them.They'd planted the bomb and retreated according to the plan.Exactly according to the plan, they hadn't deviated in the slightest.Not for anyone.

Buffy and Graham encountered a clan of Jakry demons while getting to their assigned site.Graham had been clawed badly across the ribs.Buffy took out the demons with an icy determination then supported Graham the rest of the way.She got him to the bombsight and back out after he'd armed the bomb.The last team hadn't run into any problems, but the diversionary unit had taken heavy casualties, even though the spell casters had been transporting out the injured and sending illusions to confuse the enemy.

Once the bombs were placed everyone had pulled back post-haste.After the bombs went off nothing had been left of Wolfram and Hart but a scorched hole in the ground.

Riley had gone to see Buffy afterwards and to his immense shock had found her sobbing inconsolably, harsh, wrenching sobs that shook the Slayer's slender frame.For once Riley was being allowed to see past the tough competent front she put up to the grief-stricken girl who just wanted someone to take away her pain.

Riley held her as she cried, listened patiently as she poured out her guilt that she hadn't come when Angel first called, reassured her that she couldn't have know that Angel would be lost because of that delay.

The next night Buffy had called him in tears once again and he'd gone to her.For the first month after Angel's death the nightmare had come every night and by the end of that month Buffy was living with Riley, she couldn't bare to sleep alone.

During Joyce's illness Buffy had never once turned to Riley for comfort.She'd treated him like the rest of them, like Dawn, like he needed her to take care of him, to be strong for him.That had been what had driven him away.

In her grief and guilt over Angel she hadn't done that, instead Buffy had turned to Riley for comfort when she was hurting and it made all the difference.That was what Riley had wanted: to have Buffy depend on him.Even after five years Buffy's dreams still plagued her and she still needed him to hold her when she woke screaming with tears on her cheeks.

Even after getting back together with Buffy, Riley stayed in the Initiative.It wasn't easy, and he did a lot more commuting than the military really approved of, but Buffy's dreams always got worse when he wasn't with her.Riley liked that.Eventually the Initiative had given in to the inevitable and made Riley their official liaison to the Slayer.Frequently it was a difficult job, Riley might be Buffy's husband and the only person who ever saw her cry, but the Slayer didn't let anyone from Initiative tell her how to fight.

Giles was her adviser, the Scoobies were her trusted friends and council and Spike was her fighting partner, the Initiative was an interloper who she occasionally tolerated but never welcomed. To the Slayer, Riley was always a member of the Initiative, even if he was Buffy's husband.

Riley wished it was otherwise, but he was also glad she had the Scoobies and Giles, without them she'd have been dead years ago.Spike had also saved her life on more than one occasion but Riley wished that the Initiative had killed the peroxide blond all those years ago when the Initiative had taken him captive.

Now Riley couldn't do anything about Spike… no more than Spike could risk doing anything to harm Riley.They each stood on one end of a plank balanced on a high wire, if one fell so would the other.

So Riley gritted his teeth and didn't saying anything when Spike showed up ready for patrol every night.He never mentioned how he felt watching Buffy and Spike fight together or spar against one another, moving in such synchronicity that a person would think that they were telepathically linked.

Of course he was jealous, Riley knew Spike loved Buffy and that the blond vampire was allowed into a part of her life from which he'd been barred.Riley also knew that if he ever told Buffy she had to choose between her slaying partner and him, Spike would be history, but he didn't dare ask.

He and Spike never spoke of the secret that lay between them.Neither ever said the word blackmail.They didn't needed to.They both understood their position; it wasn't the something that needed to be discussed.

Riley remembered his and Spike's retreat from Wolfram and Hart after planting the bomb.He remembered the hoarse screams that had drawn him to the door of one particular cell under the building.He remembered seeing a slight blond girl maliciously twisting the red-hot fire iron driven into a dark-haired man's side, eliciting yet another scream.He remembered the moment when the man hanging in chains looked up, his dark, bottomless eyes meeting Riley's.He remembered the moment of mutual recognition and the look of comprehension in Angel's eyes the moment before Riley turned away.Riley remembered turning away from Angel only to face Spike's knowing smirk.

"You're not exactly the boy-scout everyone thinks you are," Spike had said.

Riley had walked past the bleached blond and away from the cell holding Buffy's first love.He never looked back, not even when another pained shriek rent the air.Spike followed after the commando, the blonde's smirk had lasted for days.Even now there were moments when it crossed the vampire's face, and Riley knew Spike was thinking about how much alike they really were.

They both loved Buffy.Each of them had taken over half of Angel's role in her life, Riley was the one she turned to for comfort now and Spike was the one she trusted to watch her back in a fight.There were both willing to accept that they would never be Buffy's first choice, that spot was held by a ghost, but she needed them and that was enough.

And they had both made the choice to leave Angel behind that night at Wolfram and Hart.

Riley had gone to Buffy that night to confess what he'd done, only to find Buffy more vulnerable than he'd ever imagined she could be.He'd thought he couldn't live with the weight of Angel's death on his conscious, then Buffy had turned to him, and Riley knew that he would keep his secret.

Riley still loved Buffy with all his heart, and she still didn't love him, but that day, for the first time she needed him and that was enough. They'd been married only a few months later.Riley knew he could heal the guilt that had crippled Buffy for so long with just a few words, but he never said those words.Even if Riley hadn't been the one to blame for Angel's death, he still wouldn't have told Buffy that her delay hadn't been what cost Angel his life.Riley didn't tell her because that knowledge would have freed Buffy from her weakness and it was her weakness that formed the basis of their relationship not her strengths.


	2. Standing on Your Own

Standing on your own 

Disclaimer:Characters and premise borrowed from "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and "Angel".

Riley looked around himself with trepidation; even for Sunnydale this cemetery seemed threatening.The tombstones loomed tall in the icy moonlight.It was bright as day, but lacked any semblance of warmth.Even the thin winter sun at home provided an illusion of warmth, but this California night possessed a chill that went beyond any number on a thermometer.

The commando couldn't remember how he came to be here, but he was in full gear, down to the tazar rifle slung over his shoulder.Riley wondered why he still felt as if he were the prey rather than the hunter this night.

There was a noise behind him and Riley spun, dropped into a crouch and aimed his tazar at the darkness, his eyes darted frantically from one shadow to the next, searching for the threat.

A pale, cold hand closed over Riley's, pushing the rifle down."Jumping at shadows?" a quiet voice, rich with ironic inflections asked.

Riley turned to face this new threat, his light grayish eyes meeting bottomless brown ones."You're dead," he exclaimed.

A low chuckle greeted that remark."Yes, most vampires are.Tell me something I don't know."

"I killed you," Riley continued, trying to pull away from the other man, at least enough to aim the tazar at him.Riley might as well have been arm wrestling with a statue for all he accomplished.

"That is something I didn't know," the vampire said thoughtfully."But that's not exactly what happened, was it?You left me to die, then you used my lover's grief to worm your way back into her life."

Riley's eyes went cold and hard."Spike and I left you, the building blew-up, there wasn't even debris after the explosion, you were atomized.This isn't real."

"You sound so very sure of yourself," Angel said, smirking.

A scream rent the night and Riley glanced around wildly.

"Buffy," Angel said."You'd better wake-up and comfort her, tell her how she couldn't have known what a week's delay would bring, or maybe you could tell her the truth."

The dream world released its hold on Riley and he woke, as normal, to the sight of his wife deep in the grip of a nightmare.Riley shrugged off the disquieting remnants of his own dream and took her into his arms.

"Angel, I'm sorry Angel, I'm sorry," Buffy whimpered.

"You couldn't have known," Riley murmured."And you had to fight Glory, it wasn't your fault, he wouldn't blame you."

Buffy shook her dead and burrowed closer to her husband of the last five years.Their marriage was a far cry from the one she once dreamed of, lacking in any real passion and strained by differences that couldn't be resolved, but at least she wasn't alone.Buffy knew she couldn't bear to be alone on nights like tonight.Nights when she could hear Angel's voice asking for her help and had to listen powerlessly as the dream version of herself blew him off.

Buffy knew she couldn't have left Sunnydale until Glory had been dealt with.As the Slayer she had a duty to protect the Key and there was no way Buffy could have abandoned her little sister.Still, Buffy wished she'd told Angel the real reasons she'd delayed coming to his aid rather than using his call as an excuse to get back at him for ordering her out of LA after the Faith disaster.

They'd made peace after that, but Buffy had held Angel responsible for her break-up with Riley and had been waiting for the opportunity to lash out at the souled vampire for months.Buffy wished now that she'd known then that that would be the last time she'd ever speak with Angel.

That was what haunted Buffy, that and the fear that her words might have disheartened Angel just when he had needed to be at his strongest.She thanked God that Riley had been there afterwards to pick-up the shattered pieces of her heart, and that Riley seemed happy, or at least content, with what he'd cobbled together from it's remains.Buffy couldn't imagine anyone else wanting what little love she had left to give.She couldn't even see what had changed to make them work now when they hadn't before.

Back then she'd been trying to forget Angel and move on.Maybe she'd been hesitant to risk her heart again, even if she had been eager for a relationship.Still that had to be preferable to what she gave Riley now.Now Buffy didn't even pretend that her heart would ever belong to anyone other than Angel.And yet Riley stayed, willing to share her with a ghost she would never forsake when he hadn't been able to share her with a memory she was trying to forget.

Buffy didn't understand it, but she was grateful.She didn't know how she would have survived the last five years without Riley and, oddly enough, Spike.The mismatched pair kept her from despair.Riley comforted her tears and Spike reminded her both how to laugh and how to call the fire she needed to fight.

Spike had always been able to see the truth in her heart and had no compunction about speaking it.And no matter how depressed she became the bleached blond could always find a way to annoy her.That spark of anger had kept her alive on more nights than Buffy cared to count.

As for teaching her to have fun again, Buffy remembered one night in particular.It had started with a conversation while she and Spike patrolled.

"I'm never gonna be rid of this bloody chip am I?" Spike asked rhetorically."Well, then I guess I'd better learn to live with it.What do you human types do for fun?I mean other than wars, blood-sports or brawling?"

"You're asking me?" Buffy had replied sarcastically.

"I know you've been Miss Doom and Gloom ever since Peaches bought it, but you used to do a pretty fair job of enjoying life," Spike had said."You're the only Slayer I've ever known who smiled.Besides, there aren't many humans I'd want to spend time with, so how do we have fun?I'm sure you remember something."

That's how it had started, after patrol that night Buffy had taken Spike to the Bronze where they hung out for an hour or so.The next time Buffy had invited Xander, Willow and their significant others to join them in this "rediscovering fun" project she and Spike had embarked on.

It didn't cure all her ills, but it had chased most of Buffy's nightmares back into her subconscious and if her dreams still plagued her with guilt, well, she had Riley to deal with that.Buffy didn't forget Angel, but she learned to live without him.

"Mostly," Buffy added to herself.

Spike's eyes flickered over Riley critically."Not getting much sleep are you?" He said."What's wrong your conscious keeping you nights?"

"You know how Buffy sleeps," Riley replied, casting a nervous glance toward the stairs.

"Oh, she's just getting in the shower," Spike commented, "I can hear the water.Tonight's demon was a real messy one.I appreciate the use of your facilities, my crypt doesn't have a bath."

"You're cleaned up now, so why don't you leave," Riley suggested.

"Because you and I have to talk," Spike replied."Without the Slayer."

"About what?" Riley asked.

Spike rolled his eyes disgustedly."You know what," he said."You've been dreaming about him too."

"How did you know?" Riley asked.

"I can read the guilt on your face, it's gotten worse lately," Spike said."You're just lucky Buffy's always been a bit dense."

"So, I've had dreams about him, it's normal.I have a conscious, I feel badly about what we did," Riley said.

"You weren't listening," Spike said."I'm having dreams about Angel too, just like Buffy had dreams about him right before he came back from when she sent him to Hell.So let's play a quick game of what-if.Wolfram and Hart disappeared from the face of the Earth along with Angel, but what if it weren't destroyed.The building was already more in Hell than not, what if instead of vaporizing the building like we thought we had, we just pushed it the rest of the way in and closed the door behind it.Angel came back from Hell before, what's to stop him from doing it again?"

"And if he does we're in deep trouble," Riley said.

"You caught on quicker than I expected," Spike replied."Course he'll probably be pretty weak when he first gets back, he was last time.I say we find Angel, before he can talk to Buffy, and we kill him.And this time we make sure he stays dust."

"We can't do that!" Riley protested.

"It's either that or we loose Buffy," Spike pointed out."And probably our lives when she finds out what we did."

Cordelia shrieked as she stepped out of her bedroom to find a naked male lying sprawled on the floor of her living room.Her shrieks changed from alarm to joy as she recognized the man.

The former May-Queen carefully spread a blanket over Angel's shaking form then called Wesley and Gunn, both for advise and to share the best news she'd had in years.

The two men arrived at Cordy's apartment so quickly that she was surprised that they didn't have a cadre of police cars following them.

"We should call Sunnydale," Wesley said after checking Angel over for any obvious injuries and helping the dark-haired vampire to down as much blood as they'd been able to round up on such short notice.

"She doesn't deserve to know," Cordy said angrily.

"Buffy made a mistake," Wesley replied."And she's paid heavily for it already.Her last words to Angel were spoken in anger, but it wasn't her fault that he was lost for the last five years."

"I think we should call," Gunn added."That girl looked like she was in serious pain back when we told her Angel was missing."

"I think we should wait," Cordy said."It should be Angel's choice to tell her.It won't hurt Buffy to wait another month or so till he's well enough to make that choice."

"Can't argue with that," Gunn said.

"I could," Wesley stated.

"Wait…" Angel whispered hoarsely.

"Cordelia said she urgently needed to see all three of us," Buffy said glancing from Riley to Spike."She didn't say what it was about, just to come."

The two men traded a quick glance; they shared a premonition about this meeting at Angel's old haunt, the Hyperion Hotel, which was still home to Angel Investigations.Cordelia, Wesley and Gunn along with a few others had maintained the agency all these years, despite Angel's loss.

For the last three months Spike and Riley had looked, without success, for any sign that Angel might have returned.Several weeks ago the dreams that had haunted both of them had abruptly stopped.

Spike thought it probably meant Angel was back.Riley just hoped that it was an indication that his life could return to what passed for normal.Then Cordelia's call had summoned them here.

Riley and Spike flanked the Slayer as they entered the Hyperion's darkened lobby."Where is everybody?" Buffy asked looking around the vast, poor-lit room.

One shadow detached itself from the rest, resolving itself into a very familiar man, dressed in black."Angel!" Buffy exclaimed, taking several steps forward as Riley and Spike both fell back, away from the souled vampire.Buffy stopped short of Angel, guilt over-taking the joy in her expression."Angel," she said."I'm so sorry, "I'd give anything to take back what I said."

"You're forgiven," Angel replied gently."I never could be angry with you Buffy, and you meant no real harm, unlike them."

"What do you mean? Buffy asked.

"Ask them about the last time we saw each other," Angel replied.

Confused Buffy turned back to stare questioningly at her two companions.

"Ask them where they left me," Angel prompted.

"Guys?" Buffy asked in a frightened voice.

Riley looked away in shame, but Spike just shrugged."We saw Peaches in one of the cells beneath Wolfram and Hart," the blond vampire said."Right before we blew the place up." 

"And you left him there," Buffy said, the volume of her voice rising with each word."You left Angel to die, then you came to me offering comfort?You two-faced…"

"Now, now Pet," Spike interrupted."Watch with the name calling.You've always known what I am.Remember our first alliance?"

"You wanted to help me kill Angelus so you could have Dru back," Buffy said.

"You know what they say:'All's fair in love and war', only it's you I love now, sweet Slayer," Spike explained."I'd do anything, kill anyone to be closer to you.I'd have killed Captain Cardboard over there, except we've both taken measures to ensure that if one of us disappears you'd find out about Angel.When it comes to you, Buffy, the soldier-boy and I aren't too different."

"How could you hurt me like that if you loved me?" Buffy demanded.

"I did everything I could to make it better," Spike replied.

"Except tell me the truth," Buffy said.

"Would it really have made you feel better?" Spike asked.Or would you have just convinced yourself that Angel wouldn't have been in that place if not for your little delay?You still would have blamed yourself Buffy, only you wouldn't have had Finn or I to make it easier."

"Why didn't you just save him?" Buffy asked.

"I'm not the altruistic type luv," Spike replied."That requires a soul."

"Riley?" Buffy asked plaintively.

"I'm not a Saint," Riley replied, not able to meet Buffy's horrified, tearful gaze."I hate Angel, because you loved him in a way you could never love me.I was going to confess what I'd done, but after Angel was gone you needed me.That's all I ever wanted from you.I love you Buffy, but I couldn't be just another of your little sidekicks, I couldn't play Lois Lane to your Superman.You treated Angel as an equal, but you never did that for me."

"Buffy is the Slayer, you're not," Angel said coldly."You aren't her equal."

"But you are?" Riley demanded.Angel just smirked.

"Riley, I didn't think of you as being less than me," Buffy protested."I never thought that."

"Then why'd you keep trying to protect me?" Riley asked."I was trained to fight demons, why couldn't you let me do that?You wouldn't even let me help you deal with your mother's illness.I meant nothing to you until Angel died."

"I always needed you," Buffy said."I went after you that night, but you'd already left."

"You don't need him," Angel said.

Buffy took one last look at Riley and Spike then turned and went to Angel."You're right, I don't need them, not if I have you."

Angel looked down at Buffy sadly."You don't need me either," he said."If you had you never would have made it through High School."

"Right," Spike agreed."If she'd needed you, you would have killed her during that little glitch in your soul, the one that means the two of you can't ever be together."

"No," Buffy cried, clinging to Angel."I do need you.I do.I do.Please don't leave me Angel."

Angel wrapped his arms around Buffy's shaking frame, pulling her tight against him."I won't leave," he promised."But you're wrong about needing me… Oh Buffy, when did you forget how strong you really are?"


	3. The Ones You Love

The ones you love

Angel carefully pushed Buffy's silky hair away from her face with a contented sigh; he had always loved to watch her sleep.

She was older now, twenty-five years old, older than all but the smallest fraction of all the Slayers ever called.Only a year younger than he had been when he'd been changed.A faint smile crossed Angel's face, he'd never thought about her getting older before, never pictured the day when he could be introduced as her boyfriend without getting odd looks, never thought about her growing or changing.

"Most of those changes hadn't been for the better," Angel thought darkly wiping a tear from her cheek.The High School girl Angel had fallen in love with would never have reacted like this woman had tonight.

Confronted with Riley and Spike's treachery the teenaged Buffy would have exploded.Angel had taken measures to ensure that Riley, at least, walked out of the Hyperion alive.As satisfying as he might have found it to watch Buffy pound the Commando into oblivion, Angel didn't want Buffy's soul burdened with having taken a human life.Instead Angel decided to be content with having removed Buffy from Riley's influence.As for Spike, well if Buffy wanted him dust, Angel wouldn't have stood in her way.

Only it hadn't worked out that way.For a second he'd seen the beginnings of the fury he'd expected, then it had evaporated.Instead of an enraged Slayer, Angel found himself dealing with a nearly hysterical girl…

"I need you, I need you," Buffy repeated frantically.Angel could feel her tears soaking through his shirt as she all but climbed into his arms.

Angel had been shown what had become of his Slayer during his second sojourn in Hell, but experiencing it first hand was something else.The girl Angel remembered had too much pride to beg for anything… Beg, Hell, Angel remembered wondering more than once if it had ever occurred to Buffy that there were times when it was more effective to ask rather than demand.

But the woman Buffy had become not only pled with him not to leave her, she actually accepted Spike's justification of his actions and had attempted to placate Riley's jealous tantrum.Then she'd simply fallen apart, sobbing brokenly in the shelter of Angel's arms while Riley and Spike stood in the background looking uncertain as to what they should do.

"Get out of here," Angel said glaring at the other two men."Haven't you already done enough harm?"

"Buffy is my wife," Riley objected.

Buffy released Angel just long enough to remove her wedding ring and flung it at Riley.

"You've still got your soul problem, Angel" Spike said turning away from Buffy and Angel."When things get too intense and he leaves you again, I'll be there for you Buffy."

"Buffy you can't do this," Riley raged."You married me!"

At the sound of shouting Cordelia Wesley and Gunn entered the room, prepared to help Angel break-up any fights that might have started.They stared at the scene before them in confusion, Buffy was huddled against Angel's chest like a lost child while Riley glared confrontationally at the pair and Spike had just let the door slam shut behind him.A few seconds later they heard a motor start in front of the Hotel and a car drive away.

"Buffy gave you your answer," Angel said angrily."Now get out, while I'm still willing to let you walk out."

"Buffy if you don't come here right now, I won't ever take you back," Riley threatened."Who'll take you when he leaves you again?Do you really think you can depend on Spike?"

Angel felt Buffy's sobbing intensify at Riley's words and in a heartbeat his features shifted from human to demonic.Angel, or more precisely Liam, understood Riley all too well, for his entire human life he'd let his father feed him this same poison."You're worthless.You need me.No one else would have you."

Angel wanted nothing more than to rip Riley's throat out at that moment.His father might have had reason to believe that of him but Buffy was a treasure without equal.That this boy would devalue her like that was intolerable. 

The only thing keeping Riley alive was Angel's inability to induce Buffy to let him go even for a moment.

"I think you should go now," Cordy said icily.Working at Angel Investigations had brought her in contact with any number of abusive boyfriends and that was what Riley sounded like.Just because Buffy could break every bone in Riley's body without working up a sweat didn't mean that he couldn't tear out her heart emotionally.

Cordy hadn't believed it when Angel had told them what sort of mess Buffy had gotten herself embroiled in, but it looked like he was right.

Riley looked at the hostile group arrayed against him then relaxed from his combative stance."You're going to regret this Buffy," he said as he retreated.

"They all came in one car right?"Cordy asked after Riley had left."And Spike already took that one." 

Wesley and Gunn looked at the brunette girl for a moment then broke into smiles."I'm certain a trained soldier like Finn can handle being stranded without a vehicle," Wesley said."Still it is rather wet out tonight."

"It's what… ten blocks to the nearest pay phone," Gunn estimated grinning wickedly.

"Could someone make up a room for Buffy?" Angel asked as the last of the golden color faded from his eyes.

"They needn't have bothered with the room," Angel thought tiredly.Even after Buffy had fallen asleep she hadn't released her hold on him.

"How could she have let this happen to her," Angel wondered.How could his brilliant, lovely girl have become so frightened?How could Buffy have become one of the souls he needed to save, the last one he'd save.It was fitting in a way; her's was the soul most precious to him.

Angel gave himself a mental shake, now wasn't time for this.He had a job to do brooding could come later.

"Everything all right in here?"Cordelia asked, poking her head in the door.

Angel glanced pointedly at Buffy's sleeping form.

"Oops my bad," Cordy whispered.

"We're fine," Angel replied quietly.

"I don't know how, but Angel's back and he's got Buffy all screwed up again," Riley said, looking from Joyce to Xander to Giles to Willow.The Initiative soldiers had Scoobies together before he'd even called for a cab.

"The next time he saw the muzzled vampire, Spike was dust," Riley swore to himself.

"Um… how could Angel being alive be a bad thing?" Willow asked."You know Buffy never got over how he died."

"He turned her against me!" Riley shouted.

"How did she 'turn against' you?" Giles asked adjusting his glasses.

Riley held up Buffy's wedding ring as explanation.

Willow stared at the empty ring, putting the pieces together: Angel was back.Buffy breaks up with Riley.There had to be something else going on, something was missing between those two points.Willow know how much Buffy hated being alone… She never would have left Riley unless… But they couldn't, because of the curse… Maybe?

"Oh my god, Angel's human!" Willow exclaimed.

"He's not human," Riley snapped.

"Is his soul permanent?" Willow asked.

"No!I don't know," Riley answered irritably."He told Buffy some story about Spike and I leaving him a prisoner in the Wolfram and Hart building.You guys know me, you know I wouldn't do anything like that, but Buffy believes him."

"How could Buffy break up with you?" Joyce asked."You're the only normal boy she's ever dated since this whole Slayer thing started."

Willow, Giles and Xander just looked confused.

"You've got to convince her to come back to me," Riley insisted.

"I'm sorry," Giles said."I'm just having difficulty comprehending why Angel would tell Buffy something like that.When I knew him, Angel very rarely told flat out lies, although he did tend to… leave out any number of salient details when talking about his past."

"Like the whole 'I'm a vampire' issue?" Xander asked sarcastically.

"No, Giles is right," Willow said."How he didn't tell Buffy about that actually illustrates his not liking to lie by commission really well.That was back when Buffy and I used to dissect every single thing Angel said to figure out if he liked her.Angel never said he wasn't a vampire.He said he didn't bite, for the most part, true statement.He said he wanted to kill vampires, which he did.He said his family was killed by a vampire, neglected to mention being that vampire, but still not lying.He told Buffy he was older, way, way true.Besides Angel always tried really hard not to act jealous even when everybody knew it drove him absolutely nuts to see another guy anywhere near Buffy.I can't understand him purposely messing with her marriage like that."

"Come on, you guys can't possible be saying you believe a vampire over me," Riley pled.

"Of course we believe you," Joyce said.

"I hate to say it, But Wills and the G-man are right about Angel," Xander said."Could he believe what he said?I mean Angel's been gone for better than five years.We have no idea what happened to him.He could be pretty screwed up himself.Look, Spike was with you the whole time you were in Wolfram and Hart, we'll find him, he'll back up your story.Then we can figure out what's wrong with Angel this time."

"That's just it," Riley said."Spike was with us tonight, and he said he really did see Angel at the law firm before we blew it up.But I swear I didn't know Angel was there. You're probably right though Xander.Angel must have heard Spike and I talking and figured we had both seen him, but I didn't know.I still can't understand how he survived the blast, if that was the case though."

"We were playing with dimensional doorways," Giles said dismissively."Stranger things have happened under those circumstances.This does make more sense now.In light of what Angel believes your marriage to Buffy would appear quite malevolent, since it was Angel's presumed death that brought the two of you back together."

Riley flinched at Giles' comment earning an odd look from Willow."I was just picturing it from Angel's view point," Riley explained quickly."I mean I feel horrible, if Spike and I really came that close to rescuing him and Buffy had to go through all that guilt and grief just because I wasn't as observant as an HST."

"Spike is of Angel's bloodline," Giles said."He may have sensed Angel through that connection.We should find Spike and somehow force him to tell Buffy and Angel the truth."

Internally Riley renewed his pledge to find Spike and stake him, aloud he said."I don't want to leave Buffy alone with Angel, he's only going to get her more mixed up."

"Well here he was," Xander thought, driving toward LA.It had been one of the uglier decision making processes he'd witnessed but it had been decided:Xander got the privilege of going to LA to keep an eye on Buffy and Angel until Spike could be located and dealt with.

Riley, for obvious reasons, couldn't go and Joyce, despite being Buffy's mother, was too oblivious, not to mention the fact that she was absolutely furious at Angel for damaging the nice, normal part of Buffy's life.Giles was best suited for taking care of Spike. Somewhere along the way the blond had developed a certain amount of respect for the ex-watcher. 

If Xander remembered right, the shift in attitude occurred shortly after that awful night when Buffy went missing.Checking all the normal avenues of research had given them the name of a cult and the information that they needed to sacrifice the Slayer under the light of the new moon to free the demon that they worshipped, but nothing else.With time running short and no leads, Xander, Giles and Spike had gone to Willie…

"I don't know where the Slayer is," The weasely little man insisted the moment he saw them.Like magic a gun appeared in Giles' hand, aimed unwaveringly at the bartender's head.Giles' face was set in a harsh mask.Willie looked from the gun to the man wielding it and swallowed nervously."But two members of the cult left here a short while ago in the company of a couple of working girls.I'd put money on them being at the Sunnydale Motor Inn right now."

The gun disappeared and Giles dropped a twenty on the bar as he turned and left, Spike and Xander trailed after him.

"Put these on," Giles said shortly, handing Xander a pair of gloves as they drove toward the Inn.Xander did as he was asked without question.

The men were at the Hotel as Willie had predicted and in no state to put up much of a defense.In a few minutes the cultists were restrained and the girls were gone.

"Where is the Slayer," Giles asked in a precise, empty voice.He gave the men ten seconds to replied, when they failed to take that opportunity the former watcher backhanded one of the two viciously.

"Watch the mouth," Spike advised."They have to be able to talk."

"I know what I'm doing," Giles replied, his voice eerily calm.

"You want the police to think it was me," Spike commented."That's why I'm not wearing gloves, cause if the police find my fingerprints they've seen enough of my handiwork to know better than to investigate."

"Yes," Giles answered.

"Then do it my way, if you've got the stones," Spike challenged."It'll look more authentic."

Giles nodded his consent.

"First we've got to change how they're tied, you need better access," Spike instructed.

Ten minutes later Xander left to find a good spot for his lunch.Twenty-five minutes after that Giles and Spike emerged from the Hotel room.Giles' expression was still fixed in a mask of determination.Spike was cheerfully sucking blood from his fingers. 

"Right impressive mate," the blond vampire commented.

The ex-watcher turned and fixed the vampire with a look.After a few seconds Spike's eyes dropped to the ground."We've still got a Slayer to rescue," the blond mumbled. 

Therefore, Giles had to be part of the looking for Spike team, even if he was also a good person to deal with Buffy and Angel as well.

Willow was eager to go, but Riley wanted anyone else and Xander could see why after the way the slight redhead had lit-up upon seeing Buffy's discarded wedding ring.That bother Xander in a way he couldn't ignore.Willow had helped Riley and Buffy get together in the first place, she should have been one of the relationship's biggest supporters, instead she seemed glad that Buffy had broken things off.It gave Xander something to think about during the drive.

It had also left Xander as the best candidate to check on Buffy.Once Xander's prejudice against Angel would have made him almost as bad a choice as Joyce, but Xander's hatred had been buried at Angel's funeral.

A year after Angel had disappeared; Cordy and Wes had held a memorial service for the souled vampire.Xander had come strictly in the capacity of a supportive friend for Buffy.He'd been surprised at the number of people who'd come simply to morn the loss of a friend, of some who'd been there for them when they had needed help most.It made Xander look at Angel in a new light.The cop-lady had been the one to put the final nail in the coffin holding Xander's hatred of Angel.

"Angel always tried to help people, it took me too long to see that and my blindness cost me the chance to be his friend, but it didn't stop him from saving my life.I wish I'd done things differently," she'd said.In her, Xander saw someone who had been stripped of all illusions.She didn't romanticize Angel, yet she'd still come.

Xander talked with her afterwards, Kate Lockley surprised him.She'd gone from infatuation with Angel to a deep hatred of him, to a simple acceptance of what Angel was.Kate made Xander evaluate his own long held prejudices against Angel and then he'd understood what Kate had meant.Xander had held so many preconceptions about Angel that he'd never known the souled vampire and then it had looked like it was too late to change that.

"Now… well maybe after this mess was straightened out," Xander thought, he might try to clean slate things between himself and Angel.He could leave the jealousy over Buffy between Angel and Riley.Xander was very happily married to Anya and they were expecting their first child in another four months.Xander's old crush on Buffy had long ago resolved itself into a strong and platonic friendship.

Xander took a few moments to compose himself before leaving his car.Tonight he had a problem to deal with, maybe more than one if Willow's behavior was any indicator.The future would wait.

Xander paused in the entrance to the lobby.Cordy and Wesley sat together on the cozy looking couch arrangement toward the back of the large room, deep in conversation and unaware of his presence."Hey guys," Xander said."How are Angel and Buffy?"

The pair jumped at the unexpected voice, they exchanged a quick glance then Cordelia stepped forward."Angel's not dead, Buffy's pretty much in shock.Who'd you talk to?"

"Riley, he was pretty upset himself.I take it you know why," Xander said.

"That jackass is lucky he still has a head attached to his neck," Cordelia stated."I don't give a damn if he was upset, I just wish we had someway of putting him in jail."

"Look Cordy, I know what Angel thinks Riley did, but he's confused.Riley didn't know they were leaving him there," Xander said.

"What I know," Cordelia said."Is that Riley was here tonight talking a lot like the scum we have to deal with officially on a semi-regular basis and he's got Buffy twisted into a knot… My God, he sent Angel to Hell and all she could do was cry, what happened to her?"

"Riley didn't know."  
  


"Riley watched Darla drive a red-hot poker into my side, looked into my eyes and then he walked away," Angel said emotionlessly."And I don't give a damn.Cordelia, go sit with Buffy, if she wakes up I don't want her to be alone."

"Sure thing," Cordy said hurrying up the stairs and past Angel.

The Xander could only watch in bemused shock as Angel crossed the room with a vampire's inhuman speed, that way of moving that looked so casual, if you ignored the blurring caused by the fact that the movement was almost too fast for the human eye to follow.

Xander found himself staring down into Angel's eyes from an uncomfortable close range, his feet dangling an inch or two off the ground.

"How could you let that happen to Buffy?" Angel asked."If there was one thing I thought I could trust you to do, it was to see that no guy got close to her if he didn't deserve to be there.Riley has her convinced that no other man would want her.You let him take advantage of her vulnerabilities for five years."

"Riley isn't the one who left her," Xander replied, glad Angel's grip was crushing his upper arms rather than his windpipe."That would have been you and her father and Parker and Scott Hope, Riley's the one that stayed with her."

Angel's dark eyes closed briefly as a shutter passed through his body and he set Xander back on his feet."I told Buffy I left because she deserved more than I could offer."

"Well she didn't see it that way," Xander replied.

"Then she was the only one.Joyce told me flat out that I was hurting Buffy by staying and both your and Giles' opinions of me were plain for anyone to see."Angel answered defensively."And you were right, I know that.I've always known I wasn't worthy of Buffy.So I left, it was the only honorable thing to do.I got out of the way so she could find someone better, not so she could end up in an emotionally abusive marriage."

"What are you talking about?" Xander asked."Riley doesn't…"

"Then why hasn't she healed yet?" Angel demanded."Don't say it's because Buffy blamed herself for my death.She's done that before, with more cause.After she sent me to Hell personally it only took her several months to start putting her life back together, and she was younger then.This time it's been five years and she's still hurting.Didn't it ever occur to you that something else might be wrong?"

Xander's mouth had dropped open as Angel spoke and it stayed that way.Slowly he made his way to one of the couches and dropped onto it."Oh man…" he finally said.

Spike wasn't a hard vampire to locate, especially considering he was sitting in Giles' living room waiting for the ex-Watcher when Giles returned from the meeting at Buffy and Riley's home.

Giles froze at the sight of the peroxide blond sitting calmly in front of his TV, leaving both Willow and Riley to plow into his suddenly stationary body.

"Spike!" Giles exclaimed.

"So what story did Captain Cardboard tell you?" Spike asked.

"I'm not the one who's telling stories," Riley declared.

Spike ignored the commando, tossing a heavy envelope to Giles."That's the whole story, my insurance that soldier-boy wouldn't try to kill me.It's not much good to me now, so this just falls under the category of me being a sore looser."

"This letter was postmarked five years ago," Giles commented scanning the document."It confirms Riley's guilt."

"So he planned this ahead of time," Riley said."It doesn't prove anything."

"Spike?Stick to a plan that required waiting years?" Willow asked disbelievingly.

"If you need more proof ask the commando about the safe-box he's kept at the First National Bank ever since he married Buffy," Spike said."By the way, don't bother looking for me again.I'm not in a mood to be staked, certainly not by Finn, so I'll be disappearing.Maybe look into a little chip removal… somewhere far from here."

"I believe you should also look into relocating," Giles said to Riley as he finished the letter and handed it to Willow."Because if you ever go near Buffy again you'll live only long enough to regret it."

"You really think you can threaten me?" Riley sneered.

Giles looked over the younger, larger man, then took his bo staff from it's hiding place behind the coat rack and smashed it into the side of Riley's head before the soldier comprehended his intent.Four sharp, well-placed blows left Riley curled up on the floor, gasping with pain."Don't test me," Giles warned."You have no idea what I can do."  
  


"I'll be leaving now," Spike said.

"Take him with you," Giles replied."Don't come back, either of you."

Giles slammed the door behind the two men, then watched Willow finish reading Spike's confession.

"We need to get to LA before Xander chokes on his own feet," Willow commented.

When Giles and Willow showed up at the Hyperion, Xander glanced up from the dart game he was loosing to Wesley and said resignedly."Riley knew didn't he?"

"Yes, how did you know that?" Giles asked.

"Angel pointed a few things out to me," Xander said."I can't believe I ever told Buffy to go after Riley."  
  


"We all make mistakes," Buffy said as she and Angel descended into the lobby.

"At least you didn't have any kids with that creep," Cordelia commented looking up from her magazine.

"I never wanted to," Buffy replied."Riley did, but I'd always find excuses not to discuss it.I guess, subconsciously, I always knew something was wrong."

"Well he's gone now," Willow said cheerfully."And you're back with Angel so everything's alright now."

Buffy smiled at Willow as she leaned back against Angel.Giles and Xander joined the two girls in donning relieved smiles.All four of them missing the serious look being shared by the other three people in the room.

To be continued… 


	4. Lending a Hand

Lending a Hand

** **

Disclaimer:Premise and characters borrowed from "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and "Angel".

"Come on," Angel said excitedly pulling Buffy forward through the darkness.They were in a low ceilinged, stone walled, rabbit warren of a cave.The only light came from the faint gleaming of a hundred times reflected light shining from the occasional smooth plane on the walls of the cavern, but Angel lead her at a fast, confident pace as if he knew exactly where they were going.Buffy stumbled after him, wishing she had a little of his certainty.

"Slow down," Buffy cried."My legs aren't as long as yours."

"We don't have much time left," Angel objected, but he did slowed to a pace Buffy could comfortably match.

The tunnel was getting lighter, allowing Buffy a better view of her companion.For once Angel's face was free of guilt, he looked pleased, if a bit wistful and when their eyes met Buffy could see his love for her and his pride in all that she was.

"You're going to love it," he promised. "We're almost there."

Then they were at the mouth of the cave.Buffy stepped out into a bright, sunlit meadow of vivid green grass spotted with a colorful rainbow of wild flowers.The sun shown warmly in a blue sky dotted with a few picturesque clouds.Buffy felt light and free, like nothing was holding her back anymore, like her fears and doubts had been left behind in the caverns.Buffy had forgotten it was possible to feel this good.

"It's wonderful," She said, turning back to see Angel standing in the sun, smiling happily at her, ignoring the wisps of smoke rising from his flesh."Angel!" Buffy shrieked, pushing him back into the safety of the cave's shadows.

"I have to go out there," Angel said."Please come with me."

"But you'll die," Buffy protested.

"Then you'll have to go on without me," Angel replied.

"I can't," Buffy said.

Angel sighed sadly, "Then it was all for nothing."

Buffy hated to see Angel looking so defeated."I'll go if you stay," she compromised.

"I can't stay," Angel said."My time's over."

"Then I won't go," Buffy threatened.

"It's your choice," Angel replied."I'd hoped you'd go, you'll be happier there."

"Not without you," Buffy objected, sliding to the ground and wrapping her arms around her knees, drawing them to her chest.

Angel knelt in front of her and gently brushed her cheek with the tips of his fingers."Never forget I love you," he said."I came back for you, but it will all be meaningless if you stay here.I'd stay if I could, but there's no time left."

Angel pressed a chaste kiss to Buffy's forehead then rose and walked out into the sunlight.Buffy hid her face against her knees and sobbed.

Buffy woke-up alone, her face wet with tears."Angel?" she asked in a frail voice, then sighed: Angel had moved back to LA eight months ago.Everyone from Angel himself to the psychiatrist she'd been talking with said she needed to live on her own for awhile before getting back into a relationship.Buffy even understood why, as Cordy had so bluntly stated it:Angel wanted Buffy to get better, not to replace Riley as her crutch.So he'd left.They still talked on the phone regularly and exchanged visits.Buffy hoped that, someday, she and Angel would be a couple again.

If it weren't for the curse Buffy would be sure it would only be a matter of time.In the year since Angel had returned, Buffy knew she'd gotten a lot better.She could deal with the nightmares and with not being part of a couple.She had started putting the non-Slayer part of her life back together.Buffy felt certain it wouldn't be much longer till she could consider herself back to normal, then she'd be ready to get into a relationship.

Except the only relationship she wanted was with Angel and as long as the curse stood Angel wouldn't risk getting too close again.

Buffy sighed again and got up to make a cup of hot chocolate, this particular line of thought wasn't going to let her get back to sleep any time soon. Besides, her latest nightmare was still flitting around the edges of her mind.

It felt different from the one that had plagued her nights for so many years Buffy realized as she watched the timer on the microwave counting down to zero.Although Angel had still died in the dream, Buffy hadn't felt guilt, just grief.The nightmare hadn't been based on her memories either; it felt more like something that would happen.

Buffy felt a lump of ice form in her stomach.It felt like one of her prophetic dreams she realized.

"You aren't going to tell her, are you?" Wesley said tiredly.

"No I'm not," Angel replied."It will be better for Buffy this way.Just tell her it was one of those things no one could have predicted or stopped.Tell her I got knocked into a branch or something."

"In other words, lie," Cordelia said, arms folded across her chest, a stubborn look on her face.

"It's for her own good," Angel argued.

"Uh-huh, I'm sure that's exactly what Riley told himself when he decided not to tell Buffy what he'd done to you," Cordelia replied.

"You two honestly think it would have been better to tell Buffy there was a time limit on my second return from Hell?" Angel asked."Tell her I agreed to loosing my soul again in exchange for a year to see that she was okay?You know how she'd take that."

"You should give her the opportunity to say goodbye," Wesley said.

"Besides," Cordelia added."It's not like you're going to let Angelus run riot again."

"That's the part I don't like," Wesley commented."I still can't imagine the First allowing you to foil it's plans so easily."

"Wesley trust me, there aren't any catches or loop-holes in the deal.I get a year to do with as I please without interference from the First.Except I can't die during the year, you both know I'm truly immortal now.In payment I allowed my curse to be modified to include a time limit which expires the day after next," Angel said."The last twenty-four hours before the curse breaks are the critical ones.The First and any minions it can recruit can do anything to give my demon another shot at the world and I'll be free to destroy myself before they succeed."

"You're sure we can't just tie you up then re-curse you after you loose your soul again?" Cordelia asked.

"It won't work," Angel said.

"Cause the First told you so," Cordelia said."There's a real trust-worthy source.Couldn't we at least try?If it didn't work we could stake Angelus afterwards."

"Cordelia, when the curse breaks this time, I won't just loose my soul, it will be destroyed, there won't be anything to restore.By killing myself before the curse breaks I thought I might escape that," Angel explained."It's the only hope I've got left."

"Something's wrong with Angel," Buffy said as soon as Giles picked up his phone. 

"He called you?" Giles asked.

"Prophetic dream," Buffy replied.

"You're certain it was a prophecy and not simply a nightmare?" Giles asked.

"I did the trance and everything," Buffy said."Something bad is going to happen to Angel and it will happen soon."

"Call him, Angel is very capable of taking care of himself, a warning should be sufficient," Giles advised.

"Giles, Angel already knows but he's just going to let it happen.I need to go to LA.If I see him in person I can make him confide in me, then we can figure out how to fix it.I was hoping you'd come with me.Angel respects your opinion, he won't just over rule you if you say we can work things out."

"All right Buffy, I'll pick you up in an hour."

"Morning," Cordy said sleepily, glancing at the little group that had gathered in the Hotel's kitchen.Wesley and Gunn had taken rooms in the Hotel years ago, as had a number of Gunn's vampire hunters, but Cordy had always kept her apartment.In part because Doyle had found it for her, in part because it was her way of saying that she still had a life outside of the agency.Also it was nice to be able to take a date home and only have to deal with Dennis' heckling rather than Wes' older brother routine or the awkwardness with Gunn.

Cordy and Gunn had dated for a while, but it hadn't worked. Unlike Xander and Doyle, Gunn had no tolerance for Cordy's occasional May-Queen moments and Cordy felt exactly the same about Gunn's I'm-a-big-bad-demon-hunter image.Both of them were too stubborn to change and it had made for a turbulent relationship. Eventually they'd gotten sick and tired of the screaming matches and long hostile silences.They'd gone back to being just friends, but not without regrets that it hadn't worked.

So it was generally just better if Cordy kept her own apartment.But when Angel moved back to LA Cordy moved into the Hyperion.Unlike the Scoobies in Sunnydale, the group in LA had known Angel's return was only temporary from the first.And regardless of how much Cordy hated that and Angel's passive acceptance of his fate, she wasn't gong to waste the time Angel had left.

Of course, Angel's idea of making the most of the remainder of his life included working nearly non-stop.Which made it even more important that Cordy was around for the rare chance to spend time with him when there weren't demons involved. 

Buffy was the only one Angel really made time for, and Cordy was distinctly glad that the whole year hadn't been like the first few months when Buffy had been practically glued to Angel's side.If they hadn't decided that Buffy needed a time out from relationships Cordy thought she would have gone crazy.Sure Buffy was the love of Angel's life, but Cordy and Wes were his family, they deserved time with him too.

All and all, it had been a good year, a frantically busy one, but a good one.Angel had given up sitting alone in the dark brooding for hours at a time, for one thing.He just didn't have the time to waste on recriminations anymore.

Wesley had brought up Angel's eventually shanshu in a last attempt to persuade him to try to circumvent the fate awaiting him, but the souled vampire had just replied that the Aberjian scrolls always carried the implication that he might not survive the trials set out before him.As far as Angel was concerned he'd already chosen his path,all that was left was for him to follow it to its end.

"When does the last twenty-four hours of the curse begin?" Wesley asked.

"Six-thirty tomorrow morning," Angel said."About forty minutes before sunrise.I've been thinking that I'd like to see one last sunrise."

"You really do have a mellow dramatic streak," Wesley said."Wouldn't it be less painful to simply ask someone to stake you rather than burning to death."

"Vampires burn very rapidly," Angel said with a shrug."I don't think it will hurt much and I'd rather take care of it by myself."

"You still have time to tell Buffy," Wesley said.

"Tell Buffy what?" the Slayer in question said, walking into the room with Giles.

"Buffy," Angel sighed, looking both pleased to see her and exasperated by what would undoubtedly be a major wrinkle in his plans.

"Tell Buffy what?" The girl reiterated."I won't be lied to or kept in the dark Angel.I know something is happening.I need you to tell me what it is."

"I guess the most cliqued way to put it would be I sold my soul to the devil…"

Buffy was grateful for Angel's healing factor, which was accelerated even by vampiric standards, because she knew she'd be too ashamed to look at him until the last vestiges of the black eye she'd given him faded.

She knew she shouldn't have hit him, but after what she'd learned Buffy had to lash out as something.And, as was all too often the case, Angel had been the easiest target.It wasn't really him she was mad at, it was the universe in general.How could fate have been so cruel as to bring Angel and herself together only to tear them apart all over again?

Buffy and Giles argued with Angel for hours about the fluidity of the future and how he shouldn't just accept death.Angel had answered their every objection with calm, well-thought out replies that showed he'd already considered every point they had made and already recognized them as flawed.

Angel had argued out the details of the arrangement over a century or two in Hell.He, Wes and Cordy had already had a whole year to check into every possibility Angel might have overlooked and they'd found nothing.In the end Giles agreed with Angel's original conclusion that he couldn't be saved and that the best they could do was deny the First Angelus.

Personally, Buffy couldn't see what it would hurt to just try the curse, but Angel was certain it wouldn't work even if he absolutely refused to discuss how he could be so sure, so Buffy had let the subject drop.

"Why do you have to do it so early?" Buffy asked continuing her newest tangent."We could have a whole other day together and you could still… do what you have to before the curse broke."

"We'd spend that day fighting everything the First could throw at us, it's too much of a risk," Angel said."People could get hurt.You could get hurt Buffy.I could end up Angelus, I won't be him again, I just can't.A day isn't worth the price we could pay.The truth is I should be staked at six-thirty exactly, but it's only forty minutes and, well, I wanted to have appreciated a sunrise at least once in my life."

Buffy opened her mouth.She wanted to argue.She wanted to fight for every possible second she could have with Angel, regardless of the danger or what he wanted.She wanted to cry and plead for him to stay with her.She wanted to rail at fate and destiny and the Powers that Be who seemed so uncaring.

"Forty minutes doesn't seem like too much of a risk to me," Buffy said."And we've still got most of today, was there anything particular you were planning on doing?"

"You're sure you want to come?" Angel asked.

"I want every last second," Buffy said."Besides, you shouldn't watch sunrises alone."

Angel smiled very fleetingly and offered Buffy his hand.

"Where are we going?" Buffy asked as he escorted her to his car.

"Out of the city, up into the hills," Angel replied."Better view, and I want to keep moving, there's no reason for us to make it easier for anything looking for me."

"Okay," Buffy said.

They slipped into a companionable silence as they drove through LA's empty pre-dawn streets.

Angel had decided to start moving before the last day actually began, hoping to throw off anyone expecting him to be at the Hyperion at six-thirty that morning.

Buffy glanced over at Angel, noticing yet again that his choice of clothing wasn't what he normally wore.The light tee shirt looked good on him.It showed off his muscles unlike the loose shirts and the heavy coat he habitually wore, but Buffy couldn't appreciate it, couldn't ignore why he'd worn it.Angel's normal cloths provided a few minutes protection from the sun if he got caught outside, as well as fending off the occasional stray sunbeam that worked itself into building not designed with vampires in mind.Today that protection would be both unneeded and unwanted.

Buffy forced her thoughts away from that realization by asking the first thing that came to mind."Angel, you've been invulnerable for this whole year, why didn't you ever do any fun-in-the-sun stuff?"

"Immortal, not invulnerable," Angel corrected."The First didn't do anything for me that it didn't have to.If I get staked I still end up with a hole in my chest for a few days.If I go out in the sun I get third degree burns in under five minutes, I just don't die.I never tested beheading, staking and exposure to sunlight were sufficiently agonizing to discourage further experimentation."

When they ran out of road, Buffy and Angel abandoned the car and continued on foot.Walking hand in hand, much like they had on another morning when the sun had miraculously failed to shine.

Angel stopped when they entered a small clearing on an east-facing ridge."I like it here," he said quietly.

Buffy swallowed a sob as she noticed the lightening sky.

"False dawn," Angel commented.

"It will be real soon enough," Buffy said miserably.

Cautiously Angel embraced her, not quite sure if comforting her would help now.Buffy returned the embrace with all her Slayer-enhanced strength, as if she could prevent him from dying if she simply held on to him tightly enough.

They stayed like that for several minutes, then Buffy asked in a tiny voice, "Is it my fault this is happening?"

Angel pulled back so she could see his face."No, it's not."

"But if I'd been stronger, if you hadn't had to make that deal to save me?" Buffy asked.

"Then I'd still be in Hell," Angel replied."If you hadn't needed me I'd never have dared to try to get back.I'll never regret any time spent with you Buffy."

"Okay… I promise I won't fall apart again," Buffy said.

Angel smiled and hugged Buffy again, only to feel her sag bonelessly in his arms.

Angel lifted her into his arms, scanning the woods for a threat.He felt a slight stinging sensation in his shoulder, then darkness closed in on him.

Angel woke up lying on a concrete floor, he could feel handcuffs cutting into his wrists and ankles.As his eyes focused he saw Buffy, similarly bound, lying several feet in front of him.

"We thought you'd appreciate us saving her for you once your worse side puts in an appearance," a voice said.

Angel twisted to see several vampires standing about watching them.He strained uselessly against his restraints, silently cursing himself for being a fool.

Buffy woke a few seconds later."Angel?" she asked.

"Buffy, I'm sorry.I'm so sorry I got you into this mess," Angel said.

"We'll fix it, you'll see," Buffy reassured him, testing her own bonds.

"Aww isn't that sweet," the vampires' spokesman said sarcastically."I wonder if she'll be so supportive when our boy here loose his soul and decides it's play time?"

Outside Angel could sense dawn breaking then a fierce pounding began in his chest and Angel found himself gasping for air.

"What's happening?" one of the vampires demanded."Nothing was supposed to happen till tomorrow morning!"

"I don't know!" the vampires' leader snapped.

Still gasping for air Angel giggled, a disturbed sound that sent chills down Buffy's spine."I guess you're calendar was off," he said rising to his knees."Now unchain me before I get angry."

"It wasn't supposed to happen until tomorrow, we'll wait," the lead vamp announced.

"Do you know who I am?" Angel snarled."Angelus, scourge of Europe, the First's choose one.Release me now!"

"It wasn't supposed to…" The vamp reiterated.

"Now!" Angel ordered.

Cowed the vampire unlocked Angel's restrains.Angel stood and stretched casually."It feels good to be free," he said, snatching the handcuff keys from the vampire's hand and walking over to Buffy."It's been awhile, Lover," he said leaning over her."Miss me?"

Buffy opened her mouth to retort when Angel smiled reassuringly and winked.

Angel slung her easily over his shoulder.

"Hey, what are you doing with her?" a vampire protested.

"I thought you said she was a present," Angel replied irritable."I want some place comfortable to play with her, it's going to take awhile."

Reluctantly the vampires backed off.As Angel carried Buffy past the building's door, he abruptly changed direction, kicked the door open and rushed into the early morning light.

Howling in fury the vampires charged after him, only to be driven back by the sun.

Angel set Buffy on her feet and unlocked her restraints.

"You're not burning," Buffy said, confused.

In explanation Angel pressed her hand to his chest.Buffy's face took on an expression of childlike wonder."Your heart's beating,how?"

"I don't have a clue," Angel replied grinning.

"My client had an agreement with Angel," Lindsey said.

"I see you've got yourself a new job," Doyle replied."Too bad you had to die for it."

"Some sacrifices have to be made for a person's career," Lindsey replied with a shrug."And there are certain perks."

"Oh, you mean fucking Angel's sire," Doyle said.

"I'm shocked, a representative of the Powers that Be, using such crude language," Lindsey mocked.

"What would you call it, love making?"Doyle asked with a short laugh."Cause I don't see it.The only real passion either of you feel is for Angel."

"Why don't we stick to the matter at hand," Lindsey said shortly."Angel, of his own free will, entered into a contract with the First, your side had no business interfering."

"Who's interferin'" Doyle replied."The PTB had their own deal with Angel.He lived up to his end of the bargain, he was willing to sacrifice himself to protect the world from his demon.That was the last test.Sure it was a bit of a gimme, but he still passed it.It was time he received his reward, it's got nothing to do with your people."

Lindsey considered that for a moment."I believe we could also say that our arrangement with Angel has nothing to with you.The Powers made him a second Avatar, the male equivalent of a Slayer.We would have preferred him a vampire, but he'll still do.Angel may have his Shanshu, but he still owes us his soul."

"You don't understand Lindsey, you've got no hold on Angel now.It's time for you to be a good sport and deal with havin' lost."Doyle said."Your own overly specific agreement negates your claim on Angel.Your agreement said that at the end of a year, the curse on the souled vampire known as Angel would be broken.There is no souled vampire any more, nor is there a curse, just Angel."

"You're violating the intent of our agreement," Lindsey protested.

"Like that's ever concerned you before," Doyle said, rolling his eyes."Come on Lindsey, did ya truly expect the Powers to just let the First take Angel after all he's been though?"


End file.
